Computer Illusion

Upgrade Problem – Customer Service Letter

Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software severely limiting access to wardrobe, flowers and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as Cruise Ship 2.3 and Opera Night 6.1, and installs new, undesirable programs such as Saturday Football 5.0 and Golf 2.4, and Clutter Everywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run Diaper Changing 14.1 or Housecleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all-purpose utility is of only limited effectiveness. Can you please help me?
And the help desk wrote back:
Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an entertainment package. However, Husband 1.0 is an operating system, and was designed by its creator to run as few systems as possible. Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might suggest you read the entire section regarding general partnership faults. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0. Husband 1.0 must assume all responsibility for all faults and problems regardless of the root cause. To activate this great feature, enter the command: C-prompt-I -Thought-You-Loved-Me. Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolate 7.8. We hope this information helps.